Hi everyone,
this is just a no frills post, and kind of ties in with my previous
BUT with more passion than I have felt in a long time
we are so tied up with a superficial world we forget whats important to us.. we set our own restrictions on ourselves and make excuses as to why things happen and that we cant do what we want to or cant achieve due to others putting negative onto us (or our parents saying you live in this class of person so you must stay that way blah blah) and we take it on and believe what people say about and to us....so whether you comment or not please read....through this and if i can touch you and get my small message to you then i have done what this post is set to do....
PLEASE live your lives to the fullest, take that holiday, start that business, tell people you love them cause it can all change in a heartbeat.. literally.
So this post is no frills no pics nothing just me,
I woke up at about 4am Saturday morning with a chest pain... but thought nothing and went back to sleep.. an hour and a half after i woke with it again only this time... with the pain going down my left arm and tingling in my fingers... now both my parents have heart issues so i called Bowral hospital.. they told me to come in straight away...
to cut a long story short... i was hooked up to machines as they did think i was having a heart attack... then they thought it was a blood clot in my lung, so i was poked and prodded and had to have an xray...don't worry William is fine they covered him with lead aprons (they said as I am in my third trimester there was very little risk to him, i had ultrasound on my heart and yes they were going to do a CT.. but held off due to the baby.) Needless to say i was told in no uncertain terms what risks there where and what may or may not happen to me and/or my baby and what they planned on doing if "the worst" happened.. I will not go into that though but I'm sure you get the gist of what i am saying
As it turns out they are pretty sure I "dislodged" a rib (due to moving in bed to allow for a big baby) that caused nerve issues and i had to stay in hospital over night so they could watch me.. the staff and midwives at Bowral are incredible and i couldn't go to the loo without them not knowing.... I still have to be very careful but I believe I'm being watched over and was blessed to have this HUGE wake up call.. (yes I nearly lost people eg my mum and i cherish her but you see things differently when its yourself)
Rather than look at this happening to me as a I'm sorry for me situation I'm not has taught me how fragile we all are (i did know this BUT until something like this happens and your scared it doesn't truly hit home) all i thought about was my beloved husband, my daughter, my family and my unborn son.... i couldn't sleep and i really reflected on things that had happened...upsets that i have had... eg i don't fit in blah blah blah... and my eternal I'm gonna show you what i can do.... BUT I can honestly say i have a real passion for it right now.. and its something I haven't felt in years...
I have vowed to tell people i love them more... i look at my husband and family with new eyes, I didn't care for social politics before but now i just don't feel anything... I used to feel out of the loop so to speak.. but now I don't care.. take me as i am, as i will take you as your are...I have also learnt who cares and who doesn't and that's fine.... I was reading about the power of the law of attraction and can see where i have gone wrong... being away from Lily and Dave was very hard... it will be again when Will is born BUT we get a wonderful gift then that i get to bring home... I still got a gift but a different kind (yeah Im going on but bear with me please im trying to write and get all my thoughts down)
i am blessed beyond words or emotion... so my friends I plan on living to the fullest and please so should you... and if you'll excuse me.. I must get to my sewing machine
take care and be blessed all of you
take your dreams and fly high in the air
much love
Vic xxxx
